Excerpts

Business Lessons at the Beach

............... An elderly lady owned the motel. She provided some important lessons on how to really irritate customers. She inherited the motel a few years before, and her business had been steadily dropping year by year. She blamed everyone and everything except herself. The poor lady never had a friendly word for anyone. Her demeanor was definitely not the friendly McDonald’s smile with the “How can I help you?” attitude.  ...............


The McDonald's Lesson

............... McDonald’s also used what I call a cookie-cutter growth strategy. The individual wishing to own a franchise provided the money to set up one location. McDonald’s then duplicated that at another location, and then at another location, and then another. If you can use other people’s money interest-free, you can grow very quickly without borrowing and investing huge sums of money. I didn’t have much money to invest and knew that if I wanted to own a business, I almost certainly would need to ...............


That Service is not in Your Specifications


............... Now, Paul was very much a proper religious gentleman, and I know he must have been profoundly shocked. So I did not know exactly what to say, and I asked Paul what he did. Paul looked me in the eye and replied, “I said, ‘Excuse me!’” By the time Paul was telling me the tale, the shift was over, and Sally had already left. She couldn’t get out fast enough. It turned out that Sally and the night foreman were old high school sweethearts, both now in their forties.

This was something that would require some consideration. Do we accuse the Fortune 500 company’s trusted night foreman? Does Sally then respond with sexual harassment charges? I decided that this needed to go to our customer’s attention at once. Early the next morning,
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Factory Fashions

............... The show quickly morphed into daily contests for the best legs, the weirdest outfit, the best figure, the cutest smile, and the most revealing blouse. Each day was a new contest. The girls came up with more categories than a television game show. There were some guys working at the plant who also used the ...............


Big Bag of Money

............... The money she was talking about was in a big brown grocery bag, two-thirds full. I could see neatly wrapped stacks of twenties and fifties. ............... The next morning was not pretty. When the proverbial fecal matter hits the fan, it ...............



Raising the Dead

............... Al turned back, ran smack into the wall, and knocked himself straight down to the floor. He jumped up and ran into another wall. If there is such a thing as being blinded by fear, Al had it. The gardener’s feet hit the floor, and he turned toward Al, intending to help this young man with whatever was wrong. The panic only intensified as the gardener moved toward Al. The buffer machine was running wild and bouncing off walls almost as fast as Al, with an electrical cord trailing. ............... Al tripped on the cord, ran into the machine, and bounced off walls again and again as the gardener moved closer. Al was like a Super-ball careening off the walls. His bloodcurdling scream was ...............


Tasty Legal Fees

............... I must say that it was the quickest result I ever had in the adjudication arena, and it is really nice when legal fees can leave such a good taste in your mouth. ...............


An Al Capone Imitation

............... Al Capone would have loved these folks. There is very little difference between “Sell my beer or I wreck your establishment” and what these people were doing, except perhaps that they wrapped themselves in a feeling of moral superiority, convinced that they were doing something good. I often wonder whether “Big Al’s” men also came up with altruistic justifications for their extortion methods. ...............
 

Three Philadelphia Lawyers

............... The judge lectured the government’s three Philadelphia lawyers for fifteen minutes about the improprieties of their case. They deserved that lecture and much more. Even after the strong scolding by the judge, the wage and hour people sent us a letter saying they were going to appeal and it would cost us even more money. (Their big stick was broken, and they were now reaching for an even bigger stick.) With all my testosterone on the line, I countered, “Go ahead and have at it.” ...............